You're My Wish Tonight

September 30, 2011
05:09AM

Dear Apa,

I just miss Ralph Jhonel. So much as a matter of fact. Especially now that it became more evident that we are not going to be friends again. It really hurts me everytime the thought of it sinks into my mind. The hardest part is not when he made me learn that I don't matter to him anymore, but the fact that he won't be here for anything else ever again.

You know what Apa, most of my friends keep telling me that I should already move on with my life without Ralph Jhonel. But I don't want to do that! How can I ever move on when I know for a fact that I'm going to be in love with him forever? It is going to be very hard for me to try to get him out of my mind because he's always in my heart. I am all Ralph Jhonel all the time. I talk about him and nothing else and if you want to know the truth, my friends are getting enough of it.

Hey Apa, do you think Ralph Jhonel is coming back again in the future? I really need somebody to tell me what they think about it.

it's me,
Tuesday

Tell me when you feel something

September 29, 2011
04:51AM

I'm Willing to Raise the White Flag

September 01. 2011
07:02AM

Dear Apa,

Good morning!

Hey, how have you been? My God! That's the exact thing I've been wanting to ask to Ralph Jhonel. But since he's not giving a damn about me anymore, I decide to just keep my mouth shut. I really, totally miss him, you know. And it always hurts me to see his Facebook wall posts especially when he seems to be happy. Not that I don't want him to be happy, God knows I'd do everything just to see him in his happiest. It's only that whenever he posts that way, it makes me realize that I'm the only one who's affected by the distance between us. It's more like his world continues to spin without me and I can't keep up with its revolution while my world stopped revolving since the day he went away. It's frustrating!

He recently was talking about romance and of course I can't help but to feel sorry for my self. I always knew that he's already found someone although he won't admit it. I'm really happy for him, Apa. I really am! Maybe I feel a bit hurt but it's just normal, isn't it? OK, I don't feel a bit hurt. It's worse! But no matter how hurt I am, it doesn't mean that I can't be happy for him. If it makes him happy then it can't be that bad.

I just don't see why he has to be this way. He don't want me to love him, so what? Does it have to mean we can't be friends anymore? More than anything, I want our friendship back. Why can't he see that? Why does he need to turn his back on me when all I just want is to keep the friendship we made three years ago?

I really want to talk to him about this but by the looks of it, it's impossible. I'm not even sure if he's going to quit ignoring me. Honestly, I'm tired of this set-up! And if I need to actually raise a white flag to surrender, I would. I miss him so bad. I would give up my life just to win our friendship back.

it's me,
Tuesday