I'm Willing to Raise the White Flag

September 01. 2011


Dear Apa,

Good morning!

Hey, how have you been? My God! That's the exact thing I've been wanting to ask to Ralph Jhonel. But since he's not giving a damn about me anymore, I decide to just keep my mouth shut. I really, totally miss him, you know. And it always hurts me to see his Facebook wall posts especially when he seems to be happy. Not that I don't want him to be happy, God knows I'd do everything just to see him in his happiest. It's only that whenever he posts that way, it makes me realize that I'm the only one who's affected by the distance between us. It's more like his world continues to spin without me and I can't keep up with its revolution while my world stopped revolving since the day he went away. It's frustrating!

He recently was talking about romance and of course I can't help but to feel sorry for my self. I always knew that he's already found someone although he won't admit it. I'm really happy for him, Apa. I really am! Maybe I feel a bit hurt but it's just normal, isn't it? OK, I don't feel a bit hurt. It's worse! But no matter how hurt I am, it doesn't mean that I can't be happy for him. If it makes him happy then it can't be that bad.

I just don't see why he has to be this way. He don't want me to love him, so what? Does it have to mean we can't be friends anymore? More than anything, I want our friendship back. Why can't he see that? Why does he need to turn his back on me when all I just want is to keep the friendship we made three years ago?

I really want to talk to him about this but by the looks of it, it's impossible. I'm not even sure if he's going to quit ignoring me. Honestly, I'm tired of this set-up! And if I need to actually raise a white flag to surrender, I would. I miss him so bad. I would give up my life just to win our friendship back.

it's me,

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