October 12, 2012

I know I shouldn't be thinking this way to you because; 1.) you are old, and 2.) you are my grandmother. But when you come to think of it, you can't really blame me for being stubborn. You are responsible for it! To begin with, you raised me in a way that I did not have the choice but to fight back for my self. And yes, I became stubborn because you forced me to be. You have no idea you actually mould the stubborn in me.

So I grew up the way I was supposed to. And to my surprise, you weren't really glad about it. You started thinking I am being rebellious when I just want things to be fair. You started thinking I am being disobedient when I just want to do what I think is right for my self. Aren't you proud I can stand on my own feet? Aren't you happy I can fight back when I'm being attacked? Weren't you the one who taught me all those things?

And now, I am ungrateful? Wow, this is what I've become after all these years! I'm really proud of my self I became what you taught me to be. I can't imagine how I took all the lessons of the past years by heart and end up being what I am right now. Yes, I am ungrateful! But unlike any other ungrateful persons, I am not thankless. Because I am thankful that you made me an ungrateful grandchild.

This month, you made us pay for using electricity. Families don't do that to a member who can't really pay the bills; i.e. jobless and/or student. But, unfortunately, you don't seem to realize that. When I was still going to college, my allowance only covers my daily meals and transportation and most of the time, it even came short. But you, to my horror, made us pay the bills! But since I wasn't that ungrateful yet, I payed what you asked us to. I did not complain whenever I got no money left in my pocket to even buy my self some coffee. And it ruined my education! Thankyouverymuch! After giving you our "share" and nothing is left for me, I wouldn't have the choice but to skip school and just stay home which really irritates you a lot (you always see me as a sore point in your house). I hate the feeling of an empty stomach, so I decided to quit school so my financial allowance would all go only for food -- and the bills!

But you weren't very pleased. You hated that I stayed in your house 24/7. And since I stopped going to school, my allowance had to stop too. I became really broke I had to eat your food which I always regret doing because you never fail to remind me. I hate it being reminded of things and make you feel guilty about it as much as I hate the feeling of an empty stomach. So when you forced us to leave your house, I did not argue and just left.

But now, I've developed so much. I am a full-grown, stubborn, disobidient, ungrateful grandchild. You did very well in making me like that. I am so ungrateful I am thinking of not letting you benefit when time comes I'll finally have a job. Ingratitude eh? Nah, I'm just living the life you taught me. I'm sure you're going to be so proud of me.

Or maybe not. You never were.

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