Iwanu Ga Hana

March 06, 2016

Dear Apa,

Today, I learned that I shouldn't say everything I feel. It took me so many years to finally realize that.

This morning, I confessed to JC about how I really feel for him. I actually didn't sleep all night because I was waiting for him to go online on Facebook so I could chat with him. At around 6 in the morning, he sent me a "good morning". I didn't waste time, I told him I love him right away.

You know me Apa, you know that I never had any problems confessing about my feelings towards guys I really like. You know that I would never mind how they'd react to that too. And that's exactly what I thought I'd still be when I sent that stupid message to JC. But to my surprise, I felt really bad. It felt really awkward. And right then and there, I wished I could just turn back time and change everything. I wanted to take back what I said. I wanted to punch myself for being such an idiot. Why in the world did I do that? Why did I tell him the truth?

Don't get me wrong, I really love JC. But the thing is, I realized I should've just kept my mouth shut tight like a clam's shell. I shouldn't have said a word and we could have stayed friends. But it's too late, everything is ruined now. This is horrible. It's depressing.

But at least I'm only gonna have to deal with JC for a week as we will already be endorsed to different teams next week. I'm sure he's gonna forget what I said. I'd feel better if he choose to just forget about me.

it's me,

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