Crybaby 😭

April 19, 2018

03:17PM

Dear Apa,

Hey!

So I really wanted to write to you last night when I got home but I was chatting with my bestfriend through Facebook Messenger the whole night and I totally lost track of time—before I knew it, it was already 5AM. See we just opened up with each other just like what bestfriends do.

Anyway, in the last two letters, I told you the sad news about him leaving for Canada. And yesterday, he just broke an even sadder news; he is planning to stay there for good.

Of course I tried to be happy for him. It's a dream-come-true for him after all. But deep inside I was screaming "WHYYYY?!". Haha! I wanted to cry but decided not to, because I was already tired of crying since the previous day. Yes, I cried at work. He was on a VL and I told my self that it would be like some "dry run" or something, to practice and get used to going to work without him. I cried because I missed him terribly. And to think it was just one day. What more if he's already gone for good?

I didn't tell my TL the truth why I cried—of course. I told him that I was just frustrated with my consecutive bad calls, which was really part of the reason why I cried like a baby. But the truth was I just realized how life would be like without my bestfriend. I couldn't even last a day without him.

Right now, I'm still trying to be happy for him. I have no choice anyway. Whether I like it or not, he is gonna leave one day. And who am I to stop him, right? Who am I to ruin his dreams? Maybe I should hate him for this, but really, I can never hate him for anything.

The best I can do now is to make the most out of the remaining days I could still be with him. I want to be the bestfriend he could never forget. And all I need to know is if I'm something he will be missing.

P.S. I will meet him later. We will be going to our friend's house 'coz it's her birthday. I hope we could meet up for some coffee before we head to the party.

it's me,

Tuesday