The End

January 2, 2011


I skipped sleep again, I was thinking of Ralph Jhonel as usual. His Facebook status says that he's going back to Manila. Great! He didn't really bother telling me he's here in Bulacan. I mean, I am totally aware of it, but I was kinda expecting he'd tell me. Man, I've waited for this fucking Christmas break with hopes to see him again. What the hell was I thinking? Why would he even bother showing himself up? Who do I think I am?

Maybe, all I am asking is for him to at least tell me he's here. I'm not going to force us to meet up if he really hate to do so. He could've texted me, "Hey, I'm here in Bulacan but I don't want to see your face. Fuck you. Love, Ralph." It's going to be less painful than treating me like I am invisible or like I don't really exist. Like the Ghost Girl. But, reality check, I exist in his life and nothing he can do about it.

Ok. Maybe I'm the one to blame. I shouldn't have asked Nics Guevarra about Ralph Jhonel being here in Bulacan. Maybe I'm not going to be feeling miserable if all along, I was thinking he never came home. I mean, I can do with that. And... Gah! Whatever. I'm not making any sense, right? And besides, no matter how hard I rant now, it's not going to change things.

D'Arvit! This is not helping. I think I should stop this non-sense right now like, I'm pretty sure we're going to see each other again. Like on summer break or other breaks or whenever. Oh, I remember, I'm planning to go to UST at some point this semester. I should plan for that. But as for now, this is the end of my Christmas break fantasies. Ralph Jhonel is going back to Manila today and I, like what I forever do, will be right here waiting for him.

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