I Suppose He Knows the Word that Spells R.E.S.P.O.N.S.I.B.I.L.I.T.Y.

January 25, 2011
11:06PM

Responsibility is really such a big word. We don't want to ignore responsibilities, do we? I don't see why people sometimes neglect the things they are supposed to do. I don't know why I peeve people who are irresponsible. I'm not saying that I always do what I was in charge of doing, but at least I try to always comply to it. A perfect example would be the cheerdance which I was assigned to do, I didn't really want to pursue it but I had to; I am my team's Cheer Captain. No choice!

I just had this text conversation with Nics Guevarra where we talked about Ralph Jhonel as the Editor-In-Chief of the newsletter/magazine of UST's ROTC unit called Muy Leal. I am a huge fan of it, and I actually am looking forward to having a copy of the next issue. But it is nowhere near being released yet, some articles are not yet finished. Imagine, they've planned about it two months ago. You read it right man, two months. I could've written a novel in that span of time! I mean, I managed to write a storyline and then the movie script afterwards just overnight. And to think I'm not really a writer. An article which won't even occupy a single page can't take two months to be written. That is why I started questioning Ralph Jhonel's being the EIC.

Nics Guevarra explained, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was pissed by the thought of Ralph Jhonel failing to do his task. This is a very old issue I argued about with him; responsibility. The memories of the events 2 years ago flashed back to my mind. It was the time Ralph Jhonel and I were still doing a movie project. He became so irresponsible and I was really angry. But instead of telling it straight to his face, I wrote it down in a letter. I kept that letter after he read it. And tonight, I suddenly want to blog it here. Here's what I wrote:

January 09, 2009

RALPH...

I'm really, totally disappointed about last night. Can you guys be a little responsible? My God!

Project 'to, just in case you forgot. And I want you to do this because I want you guys to recieve a high grade in this. Gusto ko sanang maging responsible kayo. I mean, every efforts won't be useless anyway. Alam kong nakakapagod 'tong project na 'to, pero alam ko din na kaya n'yo 'tong gawin. Malaki ang tiwala ko sa inyo. Totoong mahirap, kaya nga ginagawa ko na'ng lahat just to make things a lot easier for all of you. 'Di ba promise ko 'yon?

Sobrang nasaktan ako kagabi. Honestly, umiiyak ako habang sinusulat ko 'to. Feeling ko kasi binabalewala n'yo lahat ng efforts ko — lalo ka na. Dahil sa'yo kaya ko ginagawa lahat-lahat, kasi humingi ka sa'kin ng tulong. Pero nung 'di n'yo sinunod 'yung sched, parang nabalewala na 'yung mga magdamag na 'di ko tinulugan para sa pagpaplano. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ako lang ang may gustong gawin 'to. Parang tanga lang ako tuloy, nagkapaltos lang ako sa kamay tapos napuyat kakasulat ng kung ano-ano. Tas kahit may paltos, sulat parin. Pumutok pa't lahat. 'Yun pala balewala lang 'yung efforts.

Ralph, alam ko wala ako sa lugar para magsalita sa inyo ng ganito dahil wala naman nagsabi or pumilit sa'kin na gawin 'to. Ang gusto ko lang, maging responsible ka. When you're supposed to do something, see to it that you'll do it. 'Di lang naman para sa project 'tong sinasabi ko eh, magagamit mo 'to in the future. Kung ano 'yung kaya mong gawin, gawin mo. 'Pag 'di mo na kaya, may matatakbuhan ka naman.

Pasensya na kung naging "epal" ako sa project na 'to. I just want to help. Naisip ko kasi, 'pag nagawa ng maayos 'to, it will help a lot in improving more on your grades. Alam ko masyado akong pakielamera sa buhay mo, na pati studies mo gusto ko epalan. Sana hayaan mo nalang ako, kasi masaya ako 'pag ginagawa ko 'yun eh. Meron kasi akong dreams para sa'yo. Sana 'di ako nakakagulo sa'yo. Kung nakakagulo na 'ko, sabihin mo lang.

Ralph, gusto ko matuto ka sana na maging responsible. Siguro mali din ako na inako ko lahat instead na ikaw ang gumawa. Sorry. Siguro nasaktan ka na pinalitan ko 'yung script. Kaya siguro binabalewala n'yo 'yung tulong ko para iparamdam sa'kin kun ano naramdaman n'yo nung nakialam ako sa project, at kunj ano naramdaman mo nung nabalewala 'yung script mo. Sorry talaga. Sobrang sorry talaga.

-Tuesday

I guess I just felt a little hurt, knowing that Ralph Jhonel never really took that advice. But I know he has reasons, he always has. I really feel stupid for bad-mouthing about him to his writer, Nics Guevarra. I don't know, but whenever I miss Ralph Jhonel and he won't notice that, I get furious hearing things about him. Even hearing his name alone. Now I really feel bad for ever saying bullshit about him as an EIC. But it doesn't mean I don't believe in what he can do! I'm happy for him for being a writer. I admire him for being the EIC. The truth of the matter is that I'm proud of Ralph Jhonel — in all he does, I always am.